a spot of sun.

One nugget I forgot to mention earlier... I got tickled Friday reading Big Mama's blog about sunless tanner. Let's face it though... tan fat is WAY prettier than white fat. After reading a book last week where the author referred to herself as a lovely shade of mayonnaise & marshmallow, I decided I needed to look into some!

I clearly do not want to look like an oompa-loompa, but blinding people with my dazzling shade of ivory is overkill, you know?

So, yesterday I purchased a brand of sunless tanner that I cannot remember. 24 hours... really? OI. I'll double check and update this when I get home.

Also, side update that someone walked by my office and sniffed so loud I nearly jumped out of my seat. Note to self: having back to the door causes you to be paranoid. Get that checked out. ha!

The instructions say to be sparing over "joints" -- elbows, knees, wrists, ankles, and to wash hands. Of course, I followed the directions to-the-letter and do not have an orange spot on my left hand today as though the Sunny Delight mascot fingerprinted me. Ha ha!

My to my surprise, I like it! I wish I could take a picture of my arms comparatively, but since I do not possess Go-Go-Gadget-like arms or a hat with a camera, I'll have to figure something else out. Lefty (the arm) is a lovely shade of Not-dazzling white (SUCCESS!!), and now Righty is feeling a bit left out.

On tonight's agenda: Righty & Both legs.

As I'm sure you'll be sitting on pins and needles, I'll update you on this story tomorrow. :)

shaken, not stirred.

tomorrow is the 1 month anniversary of the great tech disconnect. In honor of it, I need to share a few random bits with you.

Friday night, I spent with my friends celebrating a joint birthday party. To tell you that I was nervous/terrified to see people I haven't seen in two (some three and four) months is an understatement. I was frightened... and I'm not sure why! I was greeted with such warmth and love, I almost couldn't stand it. Contrary to my adult-onset-social-anxiety, I need to visit these people more than once a quarter. Ahem. Hopefully someone will send me a picture soon!

While I'm on Friday night, I saw a college friend that I haven't seen in about four or five months. You should know I've had a small crush on him for a decade, and he looked HOT (or Hot with a PH!) on Friday night. :) He smelled SO GOOD too. I love it when HOT single guys smell so good that you want to stick your nose in the crook of their necks!

Saturday, one of my friends came down and we spend the entire day together. It was so fun! I haven't really entertained anyone here except family and locals, so I kept apologizing for nothing to do/failure to plan better. But... we had a fun day regardless!!! I had the privilege to introduce her to Straight No Chaser. If you've never heard of them, go to iTunes and listen to their cover of Toto's "Africa". I LOVE THEM. We did watch a few episodes of Ruby (Love her!) and I may "borrow" her use of the word helicopter.

Yesterday, church, and then a brief trip to Cleveland again. On the way to Cleveland, I talked to my brother and literally laughed so hard I was crying. so.good.for.the.soul. I fell outside of Belk's and thought I'd broken my ankle. Yikes. Fortunately, I did not. I wound up sitting on the curb until I could put pressure on my foot, and then hightailed it home for some Oscars and ice!

I have been reading like a crazy lady. I've knocked out 9 books this year already. :)

There are a few things that I'm bursting to tell, but I'm learning (more and more each day) that some things just need to be kept to myself. But I was totally giggling last night like a little girl. All I'm saying is that occasionally... you should google yourself.

In the interest of disclosure, I did not realize how dramatic my post about children sounded until I received some messages that made me think Y'all think I need counseling. Oops! I need to tell you that I, and my family, are going through a God-thing right now. I've not really talked about any of it because I'm putting all of my faith in God, trusting that His Will, and His timing are perfect. I've been doing my best to encourage my family by reminding them of what God has already done for our family... which is nothing short of miraculous. And aside from feeling "off" last week, I am doing wonderful... I am blessed! Maybe my next goal is to be WAY more cautious about the tone I use when I write.

Also, I've had a Dr. Pepper and a Honeybun. I may be on a sugar high. I had an 8:00am meeting and I couldn't find anything else to prevent my stomach from grumbling like a Goonie!!

And it's supposed to be 66 degrees today. WooHoo!!

Love to you all! Happy Monday!!

Currently Listening to: Came to My Rescue//Hillsong

happies.

• I have a folder on my computer at work that I use to "house" different pictures I run across. I imagine I've been storing stuff in there for about four years, and can I just tell you... it's the place I go to for a good laugh! Some of the pictures that I've "borrowed" are just beautiful.
  

• I love waking up to sunshine. This has felt like such a long LONG cold winter.
• Peeps. I'm a sugar-junkie. What's better than whipped sugar covered in crystallized sugar? NOTHING!
• Lavender & Vanilla lotions. L&V has become my signature favorite smell/scent.
• British Chick Lit. (I'm on my 18th book of BCL!) I'm currently working on finding ways to incorporate Prat, Pram, & Tart into my regular vocabulary. Wait for it. :)
• Reading in the bath. To relax and chill this week, I've taken a bath the last three days. Unwinding and escaping for a half hour has been some of the best therapy imaginable!
• OPI nail polish. I've been painting my nails for as long as I can remember (including an incident with a blue permanent marker that resulted in a Sunday afternoon spanking!). I love the way OPI spreads on my nails, the names of the polishes (you mktg peeps are genius!), and the longevity. Fav is Siberian nights.
• Comedy television. You can beat the effects of laughter!
• ballet flats. I have loved to dance forever. I had the treat to stop by the Capezio store in NYC and thank heavens I didn't have money to spend. I could buy out that store! Bloomingdale's had a few pair that I adored too!
• coupons. Savings... Yay!!

breathe. stretch. shake.

3 days ago, I sat on a plane, and the woman beside me asked me what it was like to be 31 and not have children.

ahem.

it was the last question in the world that I would have expected her (or anyone) to ask, and yet, I had a feeling long before she asked that she would in fact ask.

trust me when I write that I never ever expected this to be my life. I'm not disappointed, it's just completely different from what I ever dreamed about, and is so different from some of my friends lives that they're not sure what to say either. my family and other people back home can't wrap their heads around my being at this stage of my life with so many "normal" incompletes.

I've read and reread my diaries and journals of the last decade. wisdom TRULY does come with age, and i can't help but laugh at the idyllic fantasies that my 21, 22, ... 25, and 27 year old self had. they weren't bad, but they weren't realistic either. i find the same humor when i read blogs of 20somethings who are also single.

we have a language, specifically a dialect in conversation, if you will.

and it's all the same. we are desperately holding on to God, giving Him suggestions, and then trying to navigate the social minefields at the same time. it's our way of determining where the proverbial pieces of our life fit since we feel responsiblity for making them go together.

and in what I can only refer to as divine insight, it's being able to look back at my own life and realize that I hindered God because I was the one trying to make them fit after He put things in my life instead of letting Him put the pieces where they were supposed to go in the first place.

...

this week has been excruciating for me because I feel like I've been stuck in some twilight zone limbo since i got asked the question. mind you, it's not some profound question, but it was so direct and involved something i guard so deeply that it has forced me to open up a few areas of my heart and deal with some stuff.

a few years ago, I changed the verbiage I used from saying "I regret" to simply accepting things that I cannot change, and making changes for the future. It has completely revolutionized my faith because I had to stop being mad at the sinner (me) and just deal with the sin -- what caused it, where it came from, how to deal or change the behavior, etc. It's a far from perfect system, but I am not who I used to be, and for that I say, AMEN.

Therefore, I don't regret not having kids at this point in my life simply because I can't.

and all I can do now, is pray to dream differently.

????

I do believe this is the first time I've ever seen this. (and just FYI... it's currently colder here than in Detroit.) And it's now been snowing for 3 HOURS.

et ceteras. (photos)

While in Madison Square Park on Friday night, JM and I saw a snowman stick-up. We met the guy who "built" this, and he said it took four hours. Dogs kept trying to pee on it. So Funny.

Saturday morning, we ran across a group of people standing on a street corner. My brother looked at me and said, "it's either tourists, or a concert". As we got closer, I started noticing dogs. When we actually turned the corner. We saw the sign. I'm sorry. Pet Psychics? REALLY???

This was our small snowman in Prospect park. Seeing as I have not built an actual snowman in (fifteen?) years, and was not properly shoe'd (no rubba' boots for me!), it was hard to get started. Plus, there was two feet of snow. He was very cute!

This was in Central Park after we went ice skating at Wollman rink. I seriously and I mean SERIOUSLY have a new appreciation for all winter olympians. :)

When we left Wollman & CP, we headed to the CNN building. Inside, you could hold (and have your picture taken with) an ACTUAL Oscar. It was so exciting!!!

In other news, I left upstate yesterday, and it's now snowing in Georgia. It's been snowing in Dalton for 2 HOURS. For a while, we actually had large cottonball looking snowflakes falling from the sky. The ledge outside my office has about a half inch of accumulation. This is CRAZY. And not ironically enough, I don't have any food at my house. Everytime it's snowed, I've had to venture to Wal-Mart and brave the madness.

Oi.

Happy Tuesday. :)

never enough time.

I'm getting ready to leave my favorite city.

I don't think I ever spend enough time here.

I'm also forcing myself to write. Being uber-aware of what I write is difficult for me. I want to share and yet, I feel a need to be reserved.

But my love for NYC? Unbridled.

This weekend, I played in feet (PLURAL!) of snow. helped build a snowman, saw a line for a pet psychic, visited a new church, went ice skating at Wollman Rink in Central Park, held an actual Oscar, ate wonderful food, and laughed a lot. I may have even shed a few tears or two. I cannot tell you how much fun I have up here with my brother and how much I adore this city.

We took umpteen pictures. We sat in a bookstore and worked on puzzles (thankfully we share a love for logic puzzles!). We contemplated fashion. We discussed politics.

I see the same perspectives when I come here, and yet, it always seems fresh.

If only I could figure out how to take some of this home and implement it.

And still... it seems as if my time here is never enough.

this is my version of catharsis.

Tonight, I was able to hop on a plane and fly to NYC. As we landed, our plane skidded on ice. The entire cabin gasped LITERALLY. After we came to a complete stop, the entire cabin erupted in applause.

You would have too.

and then, I got to play in a makeshift igloo.

And all the world is right again.

:(

Here's to hoping that my replacement flight will be a go.